[NOTE: The above video is on a loop and will play continuously until you stop it.]
The 1997 Masters is famous for Tiger Woods winning the tournament by an incredible 12 shots with a winning score of 270 … 18 strokes under par.
Tiger was cruising to his historic win when he hooked his tee shot on the 18th hole, sending the fans-I-mean-patrons running … running after his errant shot.
One of Augusta National Golf Club’s “set-in-stone” rules is that running is prohibited. Thus, the day after Tiger’s win, Augusta National officials reviewed the videotape of the running incident and hired IBM and the Pinkertons to bring the offenders to justice. The trail was cold for 27 years until IBM used Artificial Intelligence to scan the faces and asses of millions of Americans and identify dozens of runners.
Also identified was the man shown in the above photo, indicated by the red arrow. His name is Homer “Double-Wrap” Widener, a resident of East Greenbush, NY. One of the original investors in the UroClub, Widener, now retired, remembers that Sunday afternoon very clearly:
“I was standing about 40 yards left of the 18th fairway when Tiger’s ball came whizzing by; it landed 15 feet from me and suddenly dozens of fans-I-mean-patrons came barreling towards me like a tidal wave. I couldn’t help but grin because I was aware of Augusta’s rule about ‘no running.’ I knew that one way or another, Augusta was gonna catch up with these people. And they did. The ones that are still alive today will be punished by attending a USGA seminar in Riyadh where they’ll be required to translate the Rules of Golf into Arabic. Failure to do so will result in their eyes being gouged out and replaced with high-fiber dates.
No way they can translate Rule 14.3b into Arabic.”
“Good work, Augusta! I’m 100% behind you guys banning running, foul language, and the rest of the get-in-the-hole, mashed potatoes, babba-booey horseshit that ruin the Masters experience for the fans-I-mean-patrons. I wish the PGA Tour would do the same with its douche bag, asshole, knucklehead fans-I-mean-idiots.”
