Augusta National
Masters Gnome Trumped
When President Trump was told that a 2019 Masters gnome would fetch at least $10,000, his fervent deal-making mind sprang into action. “These gnomes are a disgrace to the collectibles market. Augusta National is a second-rate club and the ... Read more
Middle-Finger Masters
During the first round of the 2026 Masters, Robert MacIntyre dunked two balls into the pond fronting the 15th hole. MacIntyre’s reaction was to flip the bird to the inanimate body of water. A quadruple bogey ensued and MacIntyre ... Read more
Masters Patron Panties
Patrons who attend the Masters Tournament stock up on merchandise including polo shirts, hats, umbrellas, shorts, skirts, slacks, socks, and more. But female patrons — as well as male patron cross-dressers — have always been disappointed that Masters-logoed panties ... Read more
Tiger Woods Banned From Masters
The unthinkable has occurred: Masters Tournament champion Tiger Woods has been banned from the event he’s won five times. The powers-that-be at Augusta National Golf Club were shocked when the photo shown here appeared on Tiger’s Instagram feed. It ... Read more
LIV Golf Buys Augusta National Golf Club
LIV Golf Senior VP of Hostile Acquisitions, Sheik el-Shakeitup, announced today that the Saudi-based organization has reached an agreement to purchase Augusta National Golf Club for 10,000 trillion U.S. Dollars. “We are excited to add Augusta National to our ... Read more
Patrick Reed & The Charm Squad
Patrick Reed will be required to attend a 3-day seminar given by the PGA Tour’s Charm Squad. Senior VP for Interpersonal Relations, Maryanne Fenster, announced that Charm Squad directors Jason Dufner, Colin Montgomerie, Vijay Singh, and Sergio Garcia will ... Read more
Ben Hogan’s Masters’ Roomies
The 2018 Open Championship saw Kevin Kisner, Zach Johnson, Justin Thomas, Jason Dufner, Jordan Spieth, Jimmy Walker, and Rickie Fowler sharing a house together near Carnoustie, Scotland. Critics carped that in “the old days,” hardened competitors would have never ... Read more
Armed Drones At Masters
In a cost-cutting measure, Augusta National Golf Club will be reducing its Pinkerton guard corps by REDACTED% at this year’s Masters Tournament. Golf Lampoon has learned that drones — equipped with state-of-the-art cameras and patron-seeking missiles — will be ... Read more
Augusta National’s Land Grab
It is believed that Augusta National Golf Club purchased the Publix-anchored property at 2816 Washington Rd. in Augusta, GA. Sources tell Golf Lampoon that beginning January 2, 2019, the Club will close this Publix location permanently and remove all ... Read more
