Tiger Woods
Punishing Tiger & Phil
Tiger Woods’s 5-year driving ban — according to the social media crowd — is not punishment enough. And now that LIV Golf has declared bankruptcy, Phil Mickelson will likely want to return to the PGA Tour and/or PGA Champions. ... Read more
Tiger’s Driving Ban
Tiger Woods has been banned from driving a car for five years. In the one-door-closes-another-one-opens department, Tiger’s publicity firm — PRNDL Flax, LLC — released the following statement: Tiger Woods is proud — and excited — to announce the ... Read more
Future Tiger Woods Articles
Tiger’s recent arrest for DUI and crashing his car in Jupiter Island shocked the nation. Several days later, he supposedly traveled to Switzerland to seek treatment for a medical condition. That will keep Tiger out of the limelight for ... Read more
Bonefish Grill Sues Tiger
Tiger Woods is being sued by Puma, Tigeraire, and a little girl from India because they claim that his (?) company — Sun Day Red — “hijacked” their respective logos. Golf Lampoon has learned — EXCLUSIVELY — that there’s ... Read more
Tiger Woods: USGA Rule Breaker?
“Tiger Woods has been in violation of a USGA Rule for his entire professional career.” So claims a medical supplies distributor — REDACTED — in an affidavit obtained by Golf Lampoon’s Investigative Division. Here is the rule in question: ... Read more
Tiger Woods Banned From Masters
The unthinkable has occurred: Masters Tournament champion Tiger Woods has been banned from the event he’s won five times. The powers-that-be at Augusta National Golf Club were shocked when the photo shown here appeared on Tiger’s Instagram feed. It ... Read more
Tiger Woods Android
Tiger Woods “moves the needle.” When Tiger plays in a golf tournament, several things occur: All of the above spells M-O-N-E-Y. When Tiger plays, the golf world cashes in. But now that Tiger plays so infrequently, that cash cow ... Read more
Tiger Woods & The Twirl Girl
Ellen Simpson’s new book, “Tiger’s Twirl Girl,” reveals her extraordinary relationship with a young Tiger Woods. Ms. Simpson was the Redondo Beach, California 1972 Majorette of the Year. After graduating from the Lon Chaney School of Cosmetology in 1974, ... Read more
U.S. Open & Rolex
Rolex CEO Konrad Bezel announced today that Rolex will award an Oyster Perpetual GMT Master II Men’s Watch (suggested retail price: $17,990) to the player who completes his U.S. Open round at Pebble Beach in 4 hours or less. ... Read more
Tiger’s Yacht
The International Mega-Yacht Association is steaming mad. Its Executive Director, Evan Keel, had this reaction to the conclusion of yesterday’s Hero Challenge golf tournament in Albany, The Bahamas: “Frankly, we were shocked at the size of the yachts displayed ... Read more
