Yesterday’s second round of The Northern Trust saw Rory McIlroy receive a two-shot penalty for touching what he thought was a loose impediment in a bunker. The penalty was later rescinded and McIlroy’s reputation for impeccable honesty was restored.
That is, until this morning.
A disturbing photo emerged on Twitter of McIlroy and his caddie at Coney Island earlier in the week. When viewed under an electron microscope, McIlroy can be seen testing the beach sand with a non-conforming wedge.
Equally as disturbing is a USGA employee on the roof of a nearby apartment building, spying on McIlroy with a pair binoculars. Why the surveillance? An anonymous USGA source told Golf Satire that “the R&A tipped us off that Rory was using an illegal sand wedge at Royal Portrush. We sent an intern to Coney Island to see if McIlroy was opening up the face of a prohibited 60-degree sand iron. Sure enough, McIlroy was hoisting moon shots to his caddie in the Wonder Wheel gondola, 150 feet above Coney Island.”
This story gets even worse. McIlroy and his caddie were later spotted at Nathan’s on Surf Avenue eating hot dogs. According to a source, the two Northern Irishmen didn’t get fries with their hot dogs. Who does that??? Ah, Rory, we had you up on a pedestal.
