As a wee lad, Rory McIlroy delighted audiences with his ability to chip golf balls into a washing machine. And at the 2019 Open Championship, Rory wore a Nike golf shirt adorned with a washing machine logo as shown here:
Note that in both instances, the washing machines are FRONT loaders. This has the manufacturers of TOP loading machines extremely agitated.
“It’s a slap in the face to the men and women of our industry,” claims Clive Tyde, spokesman for the International Top Loaders Consortium (ITLC). “We were building top loaders before Walter Hagen stopped to smell the roses. Rory and Nike need to make amends for neglecting and disrespecting our universally-loved product.”
Tyde wants to publicize top loaders by challenging McIlroy to chip golf balls into an ITLC washing machine. “My granny Margaret can pitch into a front loader. Let’s see Rory lob one into a top loader. And it’s got to be ‘nothing but net.’ Banking it in off the door doesn’t count.”
Negotiations are underway with McIlroy and the R&A to conduct a pay-per view top-loader exhibition at a future Open at St. Andrews. “We’ll place a top loader in front of the wall near the Road Hole,” says Tyde. “Rory will have 10 chances to pitch one in from the 17th green’s fringe. If he’s successful, we’ll award him with a lifetime’s supply of Downy fabric softener. But if Rory is stymied — or if he skulls one over the wall and brains a gallery member — he’ll be required to wear the ITLC logo on his golf shirts for the next 5 years.”
