In the beginning, in 1926, there was the Los Angeles Open. The tournament director looked upon the field and said it was “good.”
But soon the freeway expansion plague came upon southern California and the tournament led a nomadic life. Its players wandered for 95 years from El Caballero Country Club to Griffith Park to Los Angeles CC to Hillcrest CC to Wilshire CC to Fox Hills CC to Inglewood CC to Brookside Golf Course to Rancho Park Golf Course to Valencia CC and to Riviera CC.
In the early years, oh, how the players did suffer! If a cut was missed, they received not one thin shekel from the paymaster. Hats were worn as protection from the relentless California sun, but yea, these were devoid and unadorned of logos. Verily, if a player had 250 yards to a par-5’s elevated green — and an eagle attempt was contemplated — the
despotic course architect commanded him to use the cruel and unforgiving 1-iron.
And doth did the players cry: “Let someone other than myself pay for my dry cleaning!” And in a recording studio on Sunset Boulevard, Glen Campbell heard their desperate plea and proclaimed, “You know, these here boys could use a helpin’ hand. They’re drivin’ from town to town, payin’ their own way, tryin’ to make a buck. Let’s do the neighborly
thing and pick up their dry cleanin’ tab.”
And so it was decreed. And great joy was bestowed upon the southern California land. The players proclaimed Glen Campbell to be their protector and friend … and his name was cleaved to the Los Angeles Open’s name from 1971 to. And there was peace and contentment among the players.
Then a new generation was begat in 1984. They knew not of the suffering of their ancestors and they cried out: “Our Cabretta leather gloves develop wear after 4 holes … the balls we play on the practice range are not identical to the ones we play during the tournament … our wives Rachel, Hannah, and Sarah view the same fashion show here every year. We demand more and better!”
Their words were not lost upon the kings and emperors who ruled the land of golf. What the players demanded would cost more … many more shekels. And so it was that the great institutions of commerce were called upon to sponsor the Los Angeles Open. Charmed with promises of “taxable deduction this” and “taxable deduction that,” they opened their overflowing purses and removed Glen Campbell’s name from the tournament … and banished him to Phoenix.
FOOTNOTE: By the time he got to Phoenix, Glen Campbell didn’t know what hit him and that began the demise of celebrity involvement with golf tournaments. See ya, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin, Dinah Shore, Andy Williams, Jackie Gleason, Danny Thomas, Joe Garagiola, Ed McMahon, Jamie Farr et al.
