Equipment – Golf Lampoon

The MOIagra Driver

THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT: When you pull out the Big Stick, will your M.O.I. be ready? Concerned that your driver’s Moment of Inertia (M.O.I.) isn’t up to snuff? Does performance anxiety prevent you from playing your best golf? Are you persona non grata in Mixed Couple events? Do your smash factor, apex, roll-and-carry stats not “cut the mustard”? Help is finally here with the all-new MOIagra driver! This revolutionary golf club — developed ...

PGA Tour Commissioner Jay Monahan, responding to criticism that the so-called “Signature” tournaments are not fair to the tour’s Top-100-Lowly-Status members, announced today a new effort to help these struggling pros: “We’re committed to helping meh players financially as they battle to achieve Signature event status. That’s why we hired Logos Everywhere Association Partners (LEAP) to create an exciting new program called Logo Dough. “Players who made less than $1 million in purse winnings last ...

Years ago, it was difficult not to see a golf touring pro wearing an ion wrist bracelet. Manufacturers were confident that the bracelets produced negative ions which could, in some cases, reduce the positive ions that might present themselves during a crescent moon and afflict golfers of a particular genetic makeup with possible assorted physical ailments including arthritis, tendinitis, back pain, and fill-in-the-blank-here-itis. These days, one is hard-pressed to see ion wrist bracelets on tour. ...

Golf Course Owners & Managers: You’re leaving cash on the table! THE LOOP SNOOP® Glove System allows you to discreetly track your customers’ every movement at your golf course. A micro-video camera built into the glove’s ball marker button captures the vital demographic information coveted by advertisers. HOW IT WORKS: Your pro shop will receive a supply of free LOOP SNOOP® gloves. Give a glove to each golfer at check-in. While he’s beaming over receiving ...

THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT: NO MORE LOVE? SAVE GLOVE! Hey, rich country club womens! Husband go out for pack of cigarettes and no come home? Or YOU make ding-dong with golf pro in country club cart barn? Whoa!!! Here come lawyers and divorce! What you do with all your golf gloves with hole to show off big-time diamond ring? After divorce, no waste money throwing out hole golf gloves. Send to me and ...

Sponsors who pay touring professionals $200,000 to more than $1,000,000 a year are annoyed and angry. Ted Wolfe, Executive Director for the trade group Show My Logo, tells Golf Lampoon that “our members are angry that pro golfers are hiding hat logos beneath their sunglasses. We don’t think it’s intentional … but we do believe that a little re-education is in order.” To that end, Show My Logo is requiring all pro golfers with hat ...

Gentlemen: impress your golf buddies — and the ladies — by wearing a shirt adorned with a famous, ultra-private club logo! Rotating Logowear, Inc. will send you a kit that includes the logo patches from the world’s Top-50 private golf clubs. You’ll also receive 100 two-inch adhesive Velcro strips. Affix one to your shirt, the other to the back of the logo patch. Attach the logo to the shirt and prepare — for once in ...