Congratulations to Michelle Wie and Jonnie West! They’re expecting a baby girl this summer and Nike, Wie’s longtime sponsor, has stepped up to “brand the ka-ka out of this kid.” Thus declared Larry Muscatel, Nike’s VP of Embryonic Affairs. “First of all,” said Muscatel, “Nike is under no contractual obligation to provide the baby with any complimentary clothing or accessories. But we sent Michelle and Jonnie a Nike onesie anyway. (No matter that it was ...

Miguel Angel Jimenez won thee Meethubishi Electric Championship and thee television broadcathters are een a teezy: How een thee hell do you pronounth theeth guyth name? Eeth eet Hee-men-EZ … or Hee-men-ETH? Golf Lampoon athed veteran broadcathter Lanny Wadkeenth — for heeth take on theeth eeshoe. Hereth what Lanny thed: “He’ll have a good look at birdie from there, Billy Ray.” PGA Tour Championth Viyth Pretheedent of Media Relationth, Thamantha Pretheela Johnthon, thaid, “Thee preferred ...