Amazon announced today that it has purchased the PGA of America — the organization that represents over 23,000 golf professionals — for an undisclosed sum. Amazon’s Sr. VP of Global Acquisitions, Bea Heamith, said “we are always looking for ways to add value to an Amazon Prime Membership. We are excited to leverage the expertise of PGA members into a strategic platform that provides a unique and robust golf experience for our Prime customers.” Amazon ...

Golf Lampoon has learned that some golf instructors charge $10,000, $15,000, even 20,000 BIG ONES a day. These hefty sums prompted us to email a $15,000/day teaching pro with the following questions: Golf Lampoon: I’m curious: what does a student get for 15 grand a day? 15 Big Ones: Not only will I hold his head while he swings … I’ll also touch him anywhere he’d like. For reasons I don’t understand, my lawyer says ...

A new golf magazine will be launched in September: Desperadoes Digest. Publisher T.I. Bergmann explains that DD will “target a demographic that advertisers find particularly attractive: lousy players who are trying to buy a golf game with expensive clubs, unproven technology, and assorted thing-a-ma-jigs.” The monthly publication will feature the work of many unemployed golf writers who have been talked down from America’s tallest clubhouse roofs. Bergmann provided Golf Lampoon with a sneak preview at ...

According to Golf Gurus of America, many of its members are now specializing in helping students differentiate between a 7-iron and a lob wedge. GGOA President Tom “Double-Wrap” McCauley says that “players who’ve had a few beers often mistake the 7 for the L. We see this frequently during ‘Cart Paths Only’ days; the player grabs the wrong club and lurches to his ball. If he realizes his error, he either returns to the cart ...

“Golf shaming” has reached epic numbers at MNY Golf Academy in Yeehaw Junction, Florida. Parents from around the world send their children to MNYGA — where the tuition exceeds $90,000 per year — to give them expert golf instruction with the hope that it will lead to a college golf scholarship … or even a career as a touring professional. “It’s a very competitive environment here; our students are learning that to achieve success — ...

Lowest Common Denominator Publishing, LLC, announced today the launching of a new golf magazine, Confused Golfer Digest. Publisher James Lawson, III made the following statement at a press conference held at Pine Foot Golf Club in Mamaroneck, New York: “I’m excited to see so many of my friends from the press with whom I’ve shared so many golf outings. Hey, Eddie: I haven’t forgotten that $50 you owe me from that trip to Ballybunion! “Today ...

Hank Haney’s recent controversial remarks about Korean golfers on the LPGA Tour caught the attention of the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un. His father, the late Kim Jong-Il, once carded a 38-under-par score of 34 at Pyongyang Golf Course. That historic round also included five holes-in-one. Haney’s suspension from Sirius XM radio prompted Kim Jong Un to contact Haney about giving him private lessons. The North Korean leader, sources say, is keen ...

Legendary/iconic/venerable golf instructor Butch Harmon agreed to appear in a Golf Digest article in which the latestteaching guru, George Gankas, gave him some “tips.” Harmon was a good sport about the whole thing until Gankas started putting his hands on Harmon during the photoshoot. “Fucking guy was too close for comfort,” said Harmon, “and it pissed me off. Jack Grout can grab Jack Nicklaus’s hair… Stewart Maiden can place his hands on Bobby Jones … ...