Phil Mickelson has denounced the USGA’s CEO Mike Whan’s slow-play initiative as “yet another dick move.”
Last week Whan announced how the USGA will deal with pokey players at next month’s US Open at the Los Angeles Country Club:
“Rolex, our corporate partner, will have its iconic 20-foot-high clock positioned near the first tee box at LACC. When one of our walking officials determines that a player is 15 minutes behind the group in front of him, he’ll receive a warning. If the slow play continues, no more warnings. He’ll be put on the clock. Literally. When he finishes his round and signs his scorecard, he’ll be escorted to the first tee, loaded into a cherry picker, and placed on top of the Rolex clock. And I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to the Inglewood Home Depot for renting us the cherry picker for four days at the one-day rate.”
Whan cited historical precedents for this type of punishment, including the use of stocks.
“Not that long ago, public humiliation was the preferred method of dealing with people who engaged in irresponsible behavior,” said Whan. “The USGA believes that as it pertains to slow play, a monetary fine will not have an impact on today’s wealthy players. We’ve consulted with several sport psychologists who’ve recommended ‘social shaming events’ to send a clear message that we will not tolerate snail-like play.
“Placing a player — such as, say, Phil Mickelson — in a stock would not achieve the desired effect. Phil would use that opportunity to maintain a constant ‘thumbs-up’ position to ingratiate himself with his fans below. But being perched on top of a Rolex clock for 3 hours — without access to a cell phone to call in his college football bets — would punish a slow player and encourage other players to move their asses.”
Asked to comment on Mickelson’s statement that his “ON the Clock” initiative was “yet another dick move,” Whan replied, “My name is Mike, not Dick.”
