The unthinkable has occurred: Masters Tournament champion Tiger Woods has been banned from the event he’s won five times.
The powers-that-be at Augusta National Golf Club were shocked when the photo shown here appeared on Tiger’s Instagram feed. It reveals Tiger to be in Augusta’s clubhouse, being measured by the club’s tailor, Parath Navagthuyen.
Golf Lampoon has learned that Navagthuyen was questioned about the photo and told club officials that Tiger had demanded that he alter his green sport coat and transform it into a double-breasted blazer. It’s an unwritten rule at ANGC that double-breasted jackets are verboten because club co-founder Clifford Roberts thought they were too “la-dee-da.”
Adding to Tiger’s jacket faux pas was that the photo revealed him to be holding a cell phone and likely texting a disreputable woman. Thus, another club rule was shattered: “No cell phones in the clubhouse!”
These egregious infractions gave Augusta officials no choice but to ban Tiger Woods from this year’s Masters Tournament. As for tailor Parath Navagthuyen, he was sent back to his Indonesian homeland on a club member’s oil tanker.
