Bill Chipman is a legendary golf pro whose 40-year career saw him amass an extra-large bucketful of awards and honors, including:
- Pro Emeritus at Aleutian Archipelago Golf & Country Club
- Course record (76) at River Placenta Golf Course (South)
- Sears Roebuck & Co. Golf Staff Member
- 1975 Ryder Cup Cashmere Sweater Committee (alternate)
- Author of the pamphlet “Why 10 Lessons Are Better Than One”
- Creator of the 17-Plane Swing
- Appeared in a Betamax Video of “Left Heel Up, Left Heel Down, Dammit!”
- Advisor to Mahatma Gandhi’s Great-Great Nephew, Sahir Vindi (1981 Calcutta Junior Golfer of the Year)
In 2022, Bill was hired by Sheik Hasan el-Ferrule, LIV Golf’s Executive Director of Community Beheadings, to provide private swing instruction.
Said Bill: “His Excellency emailed me a video of one of his eunuchs about to lose his head for stealing a box of dates. He asked me to analyze the swing and provide suggestions and improvements.
“As you can see from the above photo, the player wielding the sword is quite closed relative to the path. And because he’s laid off at the top, he’s going to have adjust on the downswing to avoid coming into the shoulders while flipping his hands at the bottom. In this example, he delivered a shallow blow to the C1 vertebrae, resulting in the sword bouncing back and striking the beheader in his left big toe.
“I emailed His Excellency and recommended that the beheader grasp his sword with two hands à la Novak Djokovic. This will allow him to deliver the coup de grace with a more powerful blow, resulting in the head being severed from the body as quickly as a salami in a deli slicer. In addition, I like to see the left thumb positioned slightly to the right of the shaft, a fundamental I learned when I was an Assistant Pro under Saddam Hussein.”
Bill’s was one of the many victims of LIV Golf’s bankruptcy. He claims to be owed 1,000 Saudi Riyals (266 U.S. dollars) and realizes that if he’s lucky, he will only receive pennies on the dollar. “If I can get 5 bucks out of this, I’ll be thrilled,” says Bill.
