For the 12th consecutive year, Keegan Bradley’s pre-shot routine has been rated #1 by the editors at Hyperactive Digest. His stopping & starting, head cocking/un-cocking, and endless club twirling prior to striking his golf ball have endeared him to the world’s millions of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder sufferers.
However, some touring professionals find Bradley’s world-class twitching to be distracting, annoying, aggravating, maddening, bothersome, and irritating … and they don’t want to be in the same group with him. One anonymous Top-100-three-time-almost-made-the-cut-at-a-major tour pro told Golf Lampoon — exclusively — that “playing with Keegs makes you want to stay in your hotel room and read Homer Kelly’s The Golfing Machine. This guy puts the herky in jerky.”
Bradley knows that many players feel the same way and believes his pre-shot routine is perfect for getting under the skin of a match play opponent. And as captain of the 2025 U.S. Ryder Cup Team, Bradley plans to instruct his players to copy his exasperating, irksome, off-putting, and enraging routine. Bradley believes that this strategy — combined with the anticipated boorishness of the NY gallery at Bethpage Black — will drive the European team batty, thus assuring the Americans of a clean sweep of every match.
Post-Ryder Cup Epilogue
Captain Bradley was unable to convince any of his team members to adopt his spasmodic and compulsive pre-shot routine. One anonymous, Top-50-non-private-jet-rental player told Golf Lampoon — exclusively — that he “didn’t want to look like I had a tarantula crawling around in my jockstrap.”
Thus, the European team was not rattled by the sight of the American players having fits before addressing their golf balls … and they won the 2025 Ryder Cup.
